- Me: I'm hungry.
- CoWorker: Did you have lunch?
- Me: Yeah. I brought a turkey sandwich.
- CoWorker: I heard that YOU are a turkey sandwich.
- Me: I heard that your FACE is a turkey sandwich.
- CoWorker: MEOW!
Boss in email to staff: Please make sure that you log out of the order processing system at the end of the day and do not log back in until Monday, as they will be doing system updates over the next two days. Thanks!
Me: Damnit. You just ruined all of my weekend plans.
Boss: I’m sure you’ll make due.
Me: I might not. I might die….of sadness.
Boss: What if I let you wear the snake heart? Will that make everything better? This is hypothetical, of course. I will not be letting you do that.
Me: No. It would only remind me of the AURYN from the Neverending Story and I would be forced to act as Atreyu’s trusty steed Artax and slowly sink into the Swamp of Sadness.
Me: Thank you for finding my pseudo pain so amusing.
Boss: You’re welcome. Go home.
Woman Of The World.
Coworker: Lisa Bonet is my spirit animal.
Roommate: What would we look like as gazelles?
Me: I have no idea…
1 / 13