Me and one of my college roommates (circa 2001). 

You know how sometimes you’ll be out and about somewhere and you see this cute stocky guy from the back and you’re all like “awwww yeaaaah” and then he turns around and it’s actually a cute stocky lesbian?

That was totally my problem for most of my life, except I am a dude.  I can’t help that I have smooth creamy skin and a pair of killer tits.The facial hair helps a little bit now a days but…not always.  

Sorry Ladies.

And please keep your Chaz Bono comments to yourself.  Chaz is more of a man than I’ll ever be.  EVER.   Seriously.

and Yes, my hair was purple.  I went to art school.  It was a thing.