(Source: mybigsexymen)
(Source: mybigsexymen)
I think I just found the outfit that I’ll be wearing to work that week all my coworkers are in Vegas and can only watch me on the office cams.
(Source: lagazettedumauvaisgout, via ultragraphique)
I think my next goal in life will be to have a job where the words “customer” and “service” do not appear at all in the job title or description.

I’m having a very Lupe Velez kinda day.

When I was 5 my family went to Disney World and at one point we had dinner at Cinderella’s castle (there is/was a restaurant there. We weren’t just like…hanging out and eating out front of the castle like peons).
So I had ordered chicken fingers and for some reason I did not like them and I was like “I don’t want to eat these chicken fingers, they are yuck!” so our waitress came out and she was like “I’ll take them away for you.” and she picked up my plate and started walking away, but then over her shoulder said: “I’m gonna have to sneak this past Chef Mickey in the kitchen. He’s going to be awfully disappointed that you didn’t like them” and then she disappeared.
I then proceeded to lose my shit.
I was like “NO!! CHEF MICKEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
I whipped myself into hysterics because I thought Mickey was going to come out of the kitchens and yell at me for not eating my chicken fingers…because my dad always yelled at me at home when I didn’t eat my dinner…and a 6ft tall anthropomorphic mouse in a Chef’s hat with a meat clever is far more frightening than my father.
I don’t remember what happened after that. I think I passed out.

Coworker: Lisa Bonet is my spirit animal.
I bought some t-shirts from Bear Bones Clothing yesterday. It makes me happy when places have my size.
I’m 6’4”
Indoor ponds
Succulent Love
(Source: inkked-up, via earthtogreg)
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