June 2012
76 posts
Jun 1st
452 notes
Jun 1st
2,642 notes
May 2012
77 posts
4 tags
Kitchen
I’ve come to the conclusion that I get some sort of sexual satisfaction out of watching “Kitchen Cousins” on HGTV.  I seem to grunt suggestively and say dirty, lecherous things to the hosts while they remodel people’s kitchens. This evening someone said “I’m going to go knock out your back wall.” and I had to writhe on the floor for a few minutes before I...
May 31st
7 notes
May 29th
28 notes
May 28th
483 notes
May 28th
14 notes
I’m looking for a penis to post on here and I haven’t found a nice one yet.
May 27th
3 notes
May 27th
407 notes
3 tags
May 27th
125 notes
2 tags
May 27th
126 notes
3 tags
May 27th
1 note
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Someone told me that you're 32 yrs old? tell me You're only 26 right?
May 26th
1 note
It’s beautiful out. Let’s all go get obnoxious bear tattoos.
May 26th
12 notes
May 26th
5,067 notes
1 tag
May 26th
3 notes
3 tags
“People had been warning me for months about how rude New Yorkers were. It was...”
– Jeannette Walls The Glass Castle: a memoir
May 26th
28 notes
May 26th
21,594 notes
4 tags
May 26th
1 note
May 25th
3 notes
2 tags
May 24th
8 notes
5 tags
May 24th
2 notes
I just got a work email from one of my accounts who asked me a bunch of inventory and advertising questions ….and then signed the email “Lil Dub”. ….maybe my accounts have rap names now. Who’s to.know? Certainly not I.
May 24th
1 note
May 24th
255 notes
6 tags
May 23rd
3 notes
“No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.”
– Aristotle
May 23rd
3 notes
3 tags
May 23rd
2 notes
5 tags
My roommate just put his balls on my head. ….they were really heavy
May 21st
10 notes
3 tags
May 20th
4 notes
May 20th
2,152 notes
May 20th
793 notes
May 20th
140 notes
May 20th
21,535 notes
“Isn’t love beautiful when it’s gross?”
– SNL
May 20th
3 tags
This is why I'm an asshole
Him: Hi
Me: Howdy
Him: Whazzup Sexci?
Me: Nada.
Him: I'm in da Bronx.
Me: I live in Brooklyn.
Him: Cool. So tell me something about urself.
Me: What would you like to know in particular?
Him: Anything you want to tell me.
Me: I have a eurocentric view of world history
Him: What?
Me: ....what would you like to know in particular?
Him: Can I see ur cock?
Me: No thank you
May 20th
7 notes
May 19th
6 notes
May 19th
22,579 notes
May 19th
43 notes
May 19th
17 notes
May 19th
431 notes
5 tags
May 19th
113 notes
May 19th
15,821 notes
8 tags
Hip Hop Sacajawea
Him: I leave for Michigan tomorrow.
Me: Wow. You're like a great explorer: heading to places unknown...boldly going into the uncharted wilderness...you're a Hip Hop Sacajawea.
Him: sacajawae x comme des garcon
Me: exactly
Him: I feel like it is my destiny to bring beauty to those who have never had it.
Me: Like the Angel of Bathesda bringing the healing waters to the people.
Him: Healing their unflattering outfits.
Me: ...The Angel of Couture.
Him: What do people in Michigan eat? Like potatoes and boiled meat?
Me: and ketchup
Him: I bet they're all morbidly obese there. Like a size 4 or 6. I bet....girls eat carbs there.
Me: Savages.
May 18th
2 notes
6 tags
May 18th
86 notes
May 18th
86 notes
May 17th
84 notes
1 tag
I’m grumpy. I have been off an on for about two weeks now.  The annoying thing is, I don’t know WHY I’m grumpy.  I feel like I’m pissed off about something and have totally forgotten what the something was.  The grumpiness isn’t caused by anything, nor is it directed at anyone….just just comes and goes in waves. Maybe I have a vitamin deficiency.
May 17th
2 notes
Aaaaand the Dresden Files books just tied themselves into the Dark Tower. ::my face asplodes::
May 16th
4 notes
May 16th
571 notes
May 15th
499 notes
3 tags
May 14th
2 notes