Snoggered: Archive

9 tags

Beard Mingle

Me: I had a dream that we were drink and singing karaoke.  We were harmonizing.  We were amazing.
P-Dub: We are amazing all the time.  That sounds like it would be a most excellent night.  Wanna come over and get drunk and karaoke with me?
Me: Yes.  Yes I do.  Everyone wanted to mingle their bears with ours.
P-Dub: I'd be happy just mingling my beard with yours.
Me: That is the sweetest thing ever.  
P-Dub: It's just how I do.

Mar 31st

5 notes

Mar 29th

3 notes

6 tags

Mar 28th

3 notes

5 tags

T-Rex

Me: [talking to myself] uuuugh why can't I reach my phone? My desk is too deep.  My arms are too short.  Why am I like an awesome T-Rex???
Coworker: [quietly on other side of cubicle wall] You know, I always thought of you as a T-Rex.
Me: You heard that?  I was talking to myself again.
Coworker: I hear everything.
Me: ........................oh dear.
Coworker: yesssssss EVERYTHING

Mar 28th

8 notes

Mar 28th

5,998 notes

3 tags

Mar 25th

6 notes

Mar 25th

8 notes

3 tags

Mar 25th

46 notes

8 tags

Mar 25th

4 notes

Mar 25th

11 notes

Mar 24th

24,668 notes

albiecubby-deactivated20120704 asked: Avatar link, I love you <3

Mar 24th

2 notes

3 tags

Watch

thedailywhat: Saturday Morning Cartoon of the Day: Courtesy of Korra Nation, the first two episodes of Nickelodeon’s The Legend of Korra, back to back, three whole weeks ahead of the show’s April 14th premiere. [korranation.]

Mar 24th

1,203 notes

Mar 23rd

1 note

5 tags

Mar 23rd

5 notes

Mar 22nd

316 notes

Odd…i’m totally craving pizza from Vinnie-Van-Go-Go’s right now…..which is strange seeing that I haven’t had it for about 9 years.

Mar 21st

1 note

Mar 21st

1,022 notes

2 tags

Mar 20th

5 notes

My birthday is in a week. I’m old.

Mar 20th

6 notes

5 tags

Globe

Him: You didn’t get it.
Me: What?
Him: You didn’t guess my picture correctly on DrawSomething.
Me: Yeah.  It said that you were drawing the word “Globe”.  Is that what you were drawing?
Him: Yes
Me: Was that a soccer field that you drew?
Him: Yes, was it bad?
Me: It was a very nice soccer field.  But I don’t play soccer.  How is soccer and the word “Globe” associated with each other?
Him: Oh.  I thought It was the word “soccer”.
Me: Nope…….“Globe”.
Him: Hahaha.  Oopsy :)
Me: Normally I would question how you could get the two confused, but since you’re you, I’ll just assume you were masturbating while you were doing this and was momentarily distracted.
Him: :)
Me: …gross

Mar 20th

6 notes

3 tags

Price List

Her: Hey, Do you know if Nelson Jewelers received the new 2012 price list? Nelson just called and he says that he never received anything and didn’t understand why he had to call to ask for a new price list..blah blah blah
Me: Nelson sounds familiar, but I looked them up in the system and they're not one of my accounts.  Actually...they're not anyone's accounts.  I found their website and they don't even carry any of our brands.  Are you sure it was Nelson?
Her: Yeah, it was Bryan from Nelson's, the guy who calls you all the time. 
Me: Bryan works at Blinky's Jewelry Box
Her: Sorry.  I meant Nelson was the associate's name.
Me: So someone named Nelson from Blinky's Jewelry Box called and said they never got an updated price list?
Her: ::sigh:: No.  It was someone named Nelson from Felicia's Fine Jewels.
Me: wow....that wasn't even close.
Her: I'm having a bad morning.

Mar 20th

1 note

4 tags

Mar 19th

4 notes

Mar 19th

21,492 notes

9 tags

Mar 18th

132 notes

Mar 18th

209 notes

4 tags

Mar 18th

160 notes

7 tags

Margarita

Supervisor: Are you going to the burrito place for lunch?
Me: Yeah
Supervisor: Can you get me a margarita?
Me: ......I don't think that would be a good idea.
Supervisor: Why not?  Is it because I'm pregnant?
Me: Well....that and I've heard stories about you when you drink.
Supervisor: Listen, this office should be HONORED if I was dancing topless in it.
Me: You know, you're right.  There should be more topless dancing in here.  Maybe I'll get a margarita too.
Coworker: Are you guys getting margaritas from the burrito place?  Count me in.
Another Coworker: Me three.
Me: MARGARITAS FOR EVERYONE!
Supervisor: HURRAY!
Me: HURRAY!
Coworkers: HURRAY!
VP: No one is getting margaritas.  Why isn't anyone working?
Supervisor: booooo

Mar 18th

7 notes

4 tags

Mar 18th

13 notes

3 tags

Mar 17th

1 note

Mar 15th

1,136 notes

If anyone has “DrawSomething” on their phones, im bumfuzzled on there. My drawings are horrible

Mar 15th

1 note

6 tags

Mar 14th

11 notes

4 tags

Mar 13th

9 notes

randompointlessnarcissism asked: I think you should follow me. Even though I don't post often or post anything that interesting, you should still follow me because you know me and it will make me feel wanted and loved.

Mar 13th

1 note

1 tag

brandpuma asked: <3 I wanna be your butt slut, JK. Sweet blog ;)

Mar 13th

5 notes

Anonymous asked: c2c? msn, skype?

Mar 13th

Anonymous asked: omg yay. I found your tumblr. yay yay yay. shit, I need to ask a question. um. you're hot?

Mar 13th

Watch

blua: The Real Housewives of Disney

Mar 12th

171,356 notes

I downloaded “DrawSomething” onto my phone and it’s been amusing thus far. Should I also get “WordsWithFriends”? People seem to like that

Mar 12th

6 notes

3 tags

Mar 11th

7 notes

Mar 11th

716 notes

7 tags

rainbow rims / milk lick

hi hott juicy cute guy how u feeling hott juicy cute men like u gets 3 to 9 a week wish u can move:) u top? i love man pusssy hun u neverr have to lick or suck me give i rainbow rim,s drink your cock milk lick your sweet sweaty toes\ love uy Someone obviously told this guy how much a loose grasp of the English language makes me damp.

Mar 11th

2 notes