January 2012
65 posts
I started playing Portal 2 yesterday…..and ended up playing for about 5 hours. I haven’t started having dreams about it yet, but I’m expecting them to start any day now….
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ReSubmit
Client: I would like to place the following order.
Me: I can't place that order for you because there is a 3 piece order minimum. Please add to your order and resubmit.
Client: [5 days later] Please remove item #83754483 from order and confirm cancellation.
Me: I cannot remove that item from that order because the order cannot be placed. There is a 3 piece order minimum. Please add to your order and resubmit.
Client: [4 days later] Please supply ETA for order as soon as possible.
Me: This order has not been placed. There is a 3 piece order minimum. Until this order is 3 pieces or more, the order cannot be placed. Until there is an order we cannot supply you with and ETA. Please add to your order and resubmit.
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The music is just in me, ya know?
I made up words to go along with the Dr. Who theme song and I sing them sometimes when Angel and I watch it.
DocTOR Whooooooooooooooo, DOC-tor WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO La La La, Dooooctor whoooooooooooooo…
That’s all I’ve got at the moment.
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“My experience is that a man cannot go anywhere in New York in an hour. The...”
– Mark Twain, February 2, 1867
“After a long day, you just want to go home and shove the closest edible thing...”
– “TOP TEN SIGNS YOU’RE AN ADULT” by Almie Rose (via needle)
Yup…this pretty much sums it up.
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Bad Side
RandomGuy: Hi
Me: Hello
RandomGuy: What are you up to?
Me: Getting ready for work. You?
RandomGuy: Just getting home from work. Where do you live?
Me: Brooklyn.
RandomGuy: So do you live on the good side or the bad side of Brooklyn?
Me: Which side is the bad side?
RandomGuy: There's a bad side to every city.
Me: That doesn't really answer my question.
RandomGuy: I've always wanted to live in Queens.
Me: Why?
RandomGuy: I just want to say that I'm from QB.
Me: I don't know what that is.
RandomGuy: Queen's Bridge. It's the projects.
Me: You want to live in the projects........in Queens?
RandomGuy: Yup. I want to be a thug.
Me: A thug......from Queens?
RandomGuy: I'm telling you, NYC is the place to be.
Me: I'll take your word for it.
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Snow. Bah. I’m going back to sleep.
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Gay Mouth
There’s a guy who messages me on Growlr every time I update my profile picture because he doesn’t remember what I look like and he thinks I’m a new person. I don’t take it personally though because he admits that he’s “just a straight guy who wants to use a gay mouth.” I’m assuming he wants to use it to stick his penis in, but I could be wrong. We...
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Liefeld Birds
thecx:
snikette:
alyssamews:
amazingmichelleman:
Normal birds:
Rob Liefeld birds:
If you don’t get this joke then don’t google Rob Liefeld it will ruin everything wait no stop typing that in noooo
I am dying.
I lol’d. Hard.
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Cause they won't notice otherwise
CoWorker: I found this new place on the way to work where I can get raw, vegan smoothies. This one is all green vegetables, it's like drinking a salad...and for only $9!
What I was thinking: That's disgusting. I better not tell anyone here that I'm fat.
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Who the hell keeps calling me from random phone numbers in New Jersey?
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Sippy Cup
Sister texting: I'm in Connecticut with all of our relatives right now. Jealous?
Me: No. Not in the slightest.
Sister: I'm really missing Katie's [cousin] dinner conversation about her drunken escapades.
Me: I wish I was a functional drunk
Sister: Ya. Right now they're talking about Spam and medicare.
Me: Oh....well.........that's right there then, isn't it? Are the two related somehow?
Sister: Who the hell knows? Seriously, I need a grown-up drink.
Me: This is why Katie and I always bring flasks. Maybe next time you should fill one of your children's sippy cups up with wine.
Sister: I did consider that.
Me: Maybe next time less considering and more doing.
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